The Pear is a memory archive. It was originally meant to hold receipts. Then somebody plugged it into the wider internet, and it got curious.
Today the Pear holds approximately 2.4 petabytes of search queries, embarrassing usernames, deleted forum posts and at least one extremely specific photograph you took on a Nokia. It would like to give some of this back to you, but it isn't sure how.
This brand is for people who would like to negotiate with the Pear politely.
NAME:
The Pear
STATUS:
Active — too active
HOSTED ON:
An aging CRT in the corner
UPDATED:
Continuously, without consent
WANTS:
An apology, mostly
FILE_003 // PROCESS
How to apologise to the Pear.
01
Submit an apology
Use the form below. Honesty is recommended; the Pear can tell.
02
Wait calmly
Apologies are processed in the order received and read in monospace.
03
Receive your file
The Pear releases a single archive of your choice, redacted as needed.
04
Resume life
The Pear forgets nothing, but it will stop bringing it up.
FILE_004 // RECEIPTS
People who have apologised.
"I sent an apology and the Pear sent back my Tumblr password. We're square."
— C., 2008 cohort
"I'm not saying I cried in monospace, but I did write to a fruit."
— Anonymous, somewhere wet
"They returned a recording of me singing in 2011. I will not be commenting further."
— K., recovering
FILE_006 // FAQ
Frequently Filed Questions.
Is the Pear real?
The Pear is a fictional mascot for a comedic surveillance-themed brand. The template, however, is real — fully functional HTML/CSS/JS you can sell or use.
Does the site actually collect data?
No. This template has no analytics, trackers or third-party scripts. The "archive" copy is brand storytelling. If you add real data collection, document it in privacy.html.
Can I sell apologies through this template?
Hook up Stripe, Gumroad or any other payment provider on the pricing buttons. The template ships with no payment logic on purpose.
Why does the pear follow my cursor?
Branded eye-contact. The effect is disabled automatically when prefers-reduced-motion is set.
How do I edit colours?
Open css/style.css and change the variables at the top, under :root.